Projects
I Want, I Fear, I Am
“…women have a dynamic relationship with their clothes that can be grouped around three co-existing views of the self:
‘The woman I want to be’, ‘The woman I fear I could be’ and ‘The woman I am most of the time’. (1)
In this work, I explore the trichotomy of revealing, concealing, and transforming the self. I pose these propositions in a self-reflective analysis as an older, larger woman by navigating the constant internal and external pressures to conform, confidently perform, and pleasure.
Responding to my career in fashion design, I have produced a figurative textile-based installation, that considers each persona through manipulated form, tone, and texture.
‘I Want’ delves into the desires of success, confidence, femininity, and fearlessness.
‘I Fear’ confronts my sensuality and sexuality.
‘I Am’ returns me to my own body - learning to address the trilogy living within.
It is up to you to work out which one is which...
1) Guy A & Banim M (2000) Personal Collections: Women's clothing use and identity, Journal of Gender Studies, 9:3, 313-327,
One Woman's Story
One Woman’s Story encapsulates a lifetime of experiences, many months of work, and many hours of study that have molded and shifted and shaped this body of work into its final realised form.
This multi-media work installation sits in the field of self-regarding art.
The predominantly colourless nature of the pieces brings your attention to the textures and tonal contrasts – which in turn emphasise the real silhouette of the body and the sculptural shapes distract your eye from the unfashionably large figure underneath. The visual diary, a concertina book that measures approximately eight metres at full stretch, is a record of the art and design process from concept to realization.
The autobiographical projections “Blurring of the Lines’ and the video, ‘Fashion is Not Art’, subconsciously connect the viewer to the theory that clothing enables us to project an image. Conversely so, a viewer’s projection onto the wearer is an equally significant factor in our sense of self as it assimilates with our version of our self-identity.
This work is as much a narration of an older, larger female managing self-identity as it is about the learning experiences whilst studying my Master of Art at UNSW. With each course came learning, provocations, and encouragement from each lecturer that enabled growth and evolution to the point that has led to this body of work, which succeeds to incorporate contemporary art concepts with fashion design.
Trance of Unworthiness
‘Trance of Unworthiness’ is a self-portrait that explores my inner truths and outer reality.
The work combines elements of my physical self; my perception of it; and the veils used to mask and transform my perceived faults. It is in response to a meditative reading titled, ‘Radical Compassion, by Tara Brach. Tara proposes that people who suffer from self-esteem issues can be caught in a ‘trance of unworthiness that is culturally taught to us and reinforced by marketing machines and perpetuated with negative self-talk. [1] This works confronts and challenges my own mindset of with a life-size self-image.
The work has three separate layers that hang independently but in alignment with each one representing a separate layer of my self. The first layer- calico with soft pastel- depicts my physical skeletal structure; referencing qualities of Leonardo da Vinci’s anatomical drawings and pragmatist within me. The second layer uses marks with acrylic paint and keylines of soft pastel on muslin, to confront my ‘reality and negative self-perceptions. The third layer is a veil of tulle with appliqué of silk organza and cotton lace that captures my creative side and love of garment design with its ability to transform a figure and portray a character [2].
The media selection draws on both my fashion training and art practice by incorporating surfaces that have pleasing physical tactile qualities and embrace the characteristics that represent me and my role as a designer. I enjoy working with texture as a dominant element and tend to keep colour as a highlight to disrupt or accent.
The process of the work is cathartic whilst retaining an appealing visual aesthetic that aims to generate discussions highlighting the issues of the marketing giants manipulating and suppressing women in order to generate sales and hold on to power [3].
White Washing
This work sits in the field of self-regarding art, using figurative forms to interrogate the influences on the formation and projection of a feminine viewpoint. This body of work shares a very personal experience and sense of place at Fowlers Gap while embracing divergent and personally familiar worlds of fashion and art. I have retained fashion and textile motifs from past works, refocusing my identity outwardly, through my relationship with the Australian landscape and people, rather than inwardly to a physical self. I recognise as a white woman, who is a descendant of British immigrants, that my perception of my place in this country is viewed differently from first nations people. This quote from Tom Dystra, explains this point of difference succinctly,
“We cultivated our land, but in a way different from the white man. We endeavored to live with the land; they seemed to live off it. I was taught to preserve, never to destroy.”(1)
With this statement in mind, I cross-examined my place in the landscape at Fowlers Gap; seeing myself as a visitor, an intruder, an observer of the land, in awe of Australia's beautiful landscape but not ‘of the land’, as described by Dystra.
White-Washing has three separate works.
The hero ten-minute video consists of four multilayered videos that run simultaneously on a single screen. The imagery manipulates the viewer's gaze to witness the wonders of the landscape at Fowlers Gap, through the hypnotic and transformative veil of the silk organza and chiffon that blow in the wind to reveal and conceal the landscape. The veils represent my presence in the landscape and symbolise the whitewashing of the indigenous people and their culture.
The garment and fabric motifs that are employed in the painting and the photographs, provide unity and authenticity to the WhiteWashing body of work, whilst embracing and acknowledging the skills learned in my work with fashion and textiles.